January 16, 2003

Depressed

Well I'm entering a depressed mode. Hopefully it won't last to long. It's been a couple of days now, as I'm sure you can tell from the last post. I just can't help but feel that I'm missing something. I feel distracted, from what I don't know. Maybe I've been drinking to much. I did pass up going out with Heidi tonight, although I promised I would earlier this week. I need to buy a DV camera. I want to start shooting again. Now that I'm not going to be at Columbia anymore, I can't use the ones they have. Now I wish I had used them while I could. I can get a cheap one, but I have a lot of expenses so I should wait awhile. Blah blah blah, I can ramble a lot.

tommy at 09:37 PM in Personal | Comments (0)

Guilt

Family and timid friends stand back. Sex talk is about to happen. You have been warned.

I have major guilt about sex. Of all the people I've had sex with, only twice was it actually enjoyable. I can't have sex with people with out feeling as if I'm taking advantage of them or abusing them. I'm not kidding, I feel abusive. I feel guilty for the way I like having sex. This is a problem. I guess I have to start by being in relationships with people that I really like and enjoy being with outside of the whole sex thing. I'm drunk, going to be now.

tommy at 12:53 AM in Personal | Comments (2)